would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
