If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
