On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
