A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
