Sponge bath it is.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
