If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
