Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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