Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
