the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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