drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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