i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
