I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
