turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
