i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize