I feel great
I just peed on a car
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
