With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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