this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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