real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
