My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
