I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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