Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
