I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
bring money and cleavage
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
