I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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