drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
