I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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