my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
