State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
