i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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