just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
