How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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