OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
