just survived the first fart of the relationship.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
