I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
