Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
