i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize