Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
