If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
