I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
