I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
