Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
