I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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