I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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