Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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