Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
