This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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