A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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