On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
