She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
