You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
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sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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