just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
