Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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