Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i think im in europe. pls send help
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
