That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
