Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
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I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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