i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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