Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
