My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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