definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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