Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
