Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
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I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
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don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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