my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize