Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
